Babies Don't Keep

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
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I have fond memories of my Mom quoting the last two lines of this poem to many young mothers as I was growing up. Thus I was hardly surprised when she quoted them to me just a few weeks ago.

Except for 1 room, I have conquered the battle of "How did it get this bad?!?!" I'm not saying my house is spotless. It's just not actually embarrassing any more. I am still debating how clean I should work to keep it continually. While the above poem is true--my girls will he little for only a short time--it is also true that I can't enjoy them if CPS takes them away because of our atrocious living conditions. (This was never a concern in reality.)

Obviously, I need to wash dishes and laundry, put away both when they're clean, cook wholesome meals (which necessitates grocery shopping), clean the bathrooms occassionally, and at least contemplate vacuuming/mopping. So where do the important things end, and the inconsequential begin? What things, if left undone, should embarrass me? What things do I just need to stop apologizing for?

A work in progress

I've been trying to clean up our living room. This is a never ending battle since our kids play here, my husband sorts through our mail here, I fold laundry here. We live here.

But when I'm honest with myself, it is improving. The laundry on the couch is this week's clean laundry. Not last week's (or last month's). The floor is more clear than it was last week. I'm doing better at having our older daughter pick up her toys occassionally. Improvement is good.

Do I really want this?

Today I said goodbye to my students. That sounds odd because I've been on maternity leave since March. But today was the last day of school. I went in for the end of the year party, taking my girls with me. I told my students about the joy and pleasure it has been to teach them, work with them, nurture them, cheer for them at ball games...and then I told them I won't be teaching next year.

My students had mixed reactions.Some of them are genuinely disappointed. They like me and my teaching style. Some of them could care less who is at the front of the classroom. They might like me but would just rather not be in school. Others are happy to see me go. Our personalities clashed, and they still haven't learned the life lesson of deciding to get along with someone that you must work with.

I know I will miss them. I love my students. I enjoy my career. But I love my girls more. Even though our babysitter for the past 2 years was an amazing stay-at-home mom, I still hated leaving my little girl with somebody else all day, everyday. When we brought our second child home, I wondered how I would be able to do it again. I couldn't imagine leaving both of them to go back to the classroom.

So, I found some work I can do online from home. I packed up my teaching supplies. I said goodbye to my students and coworkers. And as of today, I am officially a stay-at-home mom.

Yes, I do really want this.

"Unproductive" Days

The past 2 days have been rather hectic. For some reason, schedules were off. Both of my girls are definitely schedule babies. They like it when things happen at the same time everyday. Since things were happening at all the wrong times, they were grumpy. I spent 2 days trying to not be grumpy, restore the schedule, and help them not be grumpy.

Translation: not much housework got done.

Now, thankfully I was able to do quite a bit of housework Monday, and my husband is very understanding about these things. However, by the time I woke up this morning, I was rather discouraged.

But while I was talking to my grandmother, she reminded me that the most important thing I do right now is take care of my girls. Yes, that does require at least a minimal amount of housework so that we can wear clean clothes and eat off of clean dishes. But in the long run, helping them through a rough day is far more important than having a spotless house. Thanks, Grandma.

The Dining Room

My dining room is a constant source of frustration for me. It is the first room we enter as we walk in the  front door, so it is easy to just dump our stuff on the table. Today, I finished cleaning that area. I realize that I must be vigilant in keeping it that way, but now I can maintain instead of needing to climb the mountain.

Entry area

I cleaned up the laundry area and entry way today. Including the time that I had to stop and comfort a crying Sophie or take Belle to the bathroom, it took me about an hour. Now I should be able to fold laundry on top of the dryer (a goal I've had since I managed to get the laundry monster off the couch). Also, I swept the tile at the front door and sorted through the stuff on the small table there. My hubby and I will have to work together to keep that orderly since he's generally the one who drops stuff there.

Hooray! One area done.

Next: The stuff on top of the freezer and taking stock of what is in it.

How did it get this bad?

I realized a few weeks ago that I really needed to clean our apartment. I could try to blame the mess on the fact that we have a new baby. But it was a mess before she was born. I could try to blame the mess on the fact that I was pregnant, working full time, and had a toddler. But it was a mess before school started this year. I could try to blame that mess on working full time and having an infant. But I think you realize these are definitely excuses at this point. What I need to do is just clean the place and work to maintain that.

 I tried to set up a schedule for cleaning, but it wasn't working! I was able to accomplish it some days but not others. Overall, the situation was not improving. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then I realized that I was not using the system that has worked for me in the past. Traditionally, I start at one end of our home and work my way toward the other. I only do basic maintenance or necessary chores eveywhere else until I get there. After I clean each room, I go back and maintain it as I clean the others. I got behind on this as I tried to work full time. I will keep up with it this time.

This time around, I'm starting at the front door and working my way toward our bathroom (the other side of the apartment). It will probably take me longer than I would like since I do need to care for my two little ones, but that's okay. The important thing is restoring order.