Babies Don't Keep

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
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I have fond memories of my Mom quoting the last two lines of this poem to many young mothers as I was growing up. Thus I was hardly surprised when she quoted them to me just a few weeks ago.

Except for 1 room, I have conquered the battle of "How did it get this bad?!?!" I'm not saying my house is spotless. It's just not actually embarrassing any more. I am still debating how clean I should work to keep it continually. While the above poem is true--my girls will he little for only a short time--it is also true that I can't enjoy them if CPS takes them away because of our atrocious living conditions. (This was never a concern in reality.)

Obviously, I need to wash dishes and laundry, put away both when they're clean, cook wholesome meals (which necessitates grocery shopping), clean the bathrooms occassionally, and at least contemplate vacuuming/mopping. So where do the important things end, and the inconsequential begin? What things, if left undone, should embarrass me? What things do I just need to stop apologizing for?

Do I really want this?

Today I said goodbye to my students. That sounds odd because I've been on maternity leave since March. But today was the last day of school. I went in for the end of the year party, taking my girls with me. I told my students about the joy and pleasure it has been to teach them, work with them, nurture them, cheer for them at ball games...and then I told them I won't be teaching next year.

My students had mixed reactions.Some of them are genuinely disappointed. They like me and my teaching style. Some of them could care less who is at the front of the classroom. They might like me but would just rather not be in school. Others are happy to see me go. Our personalities clashed, and they still haven't learned the life lesson of deciding to get along with someone that you must work with.

I know I will miss them. I love my students. I enjoy my career. But I love my girls more. Even though our babysitter for the past 2 years was an amazing stay-at-home mom, I still hated leaving my little girl with somebody else all day, everyday. When we brought our second child home, I wondered how I would be able to do it again. I couldn't imagine leaving both of them to go back to the classroom.

So, I found some work I can do online from home. I packed up my teaching supplies. I said goodbye to my students and coworkers. And as of today, I am officially a stay-at-home mom.

Yes, I do really want this.

"Unproductive" Days

The past 2 days have been rather hectic. For some reason, schedules were off. Both of my girls are definitely schedule babies. They like it when things happen at the same time everyday. Since things were happening at all the wrong times, they were grumpy. I spent 2 days trying to not be grumpy, restore the schedule, and help them not be grumpy.

Translation: not much housework got done.

Now, thankfully I was able to do quite a bit of housework Monday, and my husband is very understanding about these things. However, by the time I woke up this morning, I was rather discouraged.

But while I was talking to my grandmother, she reminded me that the most important thing I do right now is take care of my girls. Yes, that does require at least a minimal amount of housework so that we can wear clean clothes and eat off of clean dishes. But in the long run, helping them through a rough day is far more important than having a spotless house. Thanks, Grandma.